Friday August 4th

I went to a rowing class this morning. My arms were hurting some at first. I guess because that was my first rowing class in a few weeks. I was gone to KY for 2 weeks, and then I had to wait until August 2nd when my new class pass classes became active. I will schedule another one for next week. I can only go to the same gym twice in a month with my class pass. I still really want to get into a martial arts class. I want to learn how to kick ass. I know I am so weak. I need to get stronger in my upper body. I used to say if I was like my friend that was a stay at home mom with 2 grown kids, I would work out all day every day. Clearly that has not happened this summer. I have had nothing to do all day, but I don’t even do my crunches or any work with weights for my arms. Why is it so hard to make yourself do that shit? I don’t want to be fat, I do want to be fit, but I still sit my ass on the couch way too many hours every damned day. I did have a spot of good news this morning. I had mother fucking finally lost a little weight after weeks of weighing the same damn thing- 3 pounds down this morning. If I get on that scale next time and it’s back up, I will lose my mind. I am trying SO hard to lose, and I can’t. I wanted to lose 10 pounds this summer. I guess I have lost 6 if you go back to my June weight. Christine did ask me on Tuesday when I saw her if I had lost weight, so maybe at least I have lost enough that it’s noticeable. I am old and have an old face, so I can’t be fat, too. Pick a fucking struggle. 

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