well i suppose i have to start from all i know, I grew up in a dysfunctional family but all the same a family but I also became very sick at the age of 3 with meningitis and lucky for me I survived. But then as I got older i became a carer for my family and that is never easy for anyone as i had 1 sister 3 brothers from my mums side but my sister moved out and had a family of her own.
When i started school i was doing ok but then in walked secondary i was at chilton trinity and my friends was great there was jane who loved 911 the band katie who always smiled , niel who made you laugh and kerry who was creative and so sensible and damon who was our little dime bar wise and fun and lee one really cool close friend you would never lose before he passed away….
Teachers tried to help when they could but trying to keep up with work and travel and then looking after my family it was so tiring but i didnt really open up to anyone my fault i suppose but now i have learnt from that experience now i am 33 and so much more wiser to write this and help others.
I struggled with secondary but i also got given responsibility as a prefect which was so great, it gave me time to support others and have time to think my self at this point i suppose i will have to tell you about my first ever boyfriend Chris Sperring to me he was my tall sweet handsome prince he was in the year above me but we spent time together when we could which was before school break lunch and after school then came one severe day when i didnt realise hurt with love i was in our careers office as i helped out in there and he walked in to ask me out i got told by mervyn the other guy who helped that there was someone who wanted some help so i asked him to show him in and he did and left us as he needed to sort some papers in the library so this was fine with me i asked what sort of career chris was looking at he gave me info so i got papers and ino and sat with him then all of a sudden he asked me out and then dived under the table said his ex wouldnt leave him alone his ex was called hayley so i thought nothing of this but as years went by i was love bind and got hurt not all chris’s fault mind as time went on we spent time and he got to know me i dont know what he saw in me as i was in the head frame that i was fat and ugly just not worth it and i got bullied a lot to the point i made myself so ill but nobody knew as i hid that too even chris didn’t know but he made me happy i was so lost in the rose tinted frames but then school rips came up even though my family had hardly enough to live on i managed to go so France here i come france was a different world but i enjoyed the experience of being away from home BUT then me and chris hit a second iceberg we got back home hayley went and slapped chris and i was so angry but i found out he was seeing her and me at the same time but still refused t see it as i was so head over hills for chris i didnt want to know but chris told her to shove off and told me it was crap that hurt and then my head of year mr milroy wanted to see me that morning at school and because of the state i was in he told me he knew how i felt at that point i threw tables and chairs at him and he ended up in hospital not from me but from illness but then on his return they were contemplating to expell me but the school agreed not to so then i was lucky but while all this was happening my close mate jenna came to myside she was a mate. chris and me was on and off like this for a while the amount of tears i cried from being so stupid thinking he loved me. but hey school time was even harder as years went up i moved schools nearly every year which to me was nothing but now i am a adult i know what affect it has actually had but after the 5 years i was in my last year an having to play catch up it was so hard me and chris was separated by then so all you missed at this point was a school show when i was helping backstage and my family were moving and had to tell chris i didnt know how so i spoke to damon and missed my cue for the show but i got a telling ff for that but then i finally told chris and we separated that night. but last year GCSE year i tried all i could but from all the moving my grades really suffered but since secondary school i have had several jobs and lost my nan my mate theresa and my aunty hazel and my mum i have had to grow up so quick so this is how all this happened.
When i was eighteen i moved to butlins got my independence and enjoyed my working holiday I was on food and beverage when i started in a restaurant called harry’s and then i moved over to security and for the first time i actually felt like i was part of a family as on security there was a saying i was one of the lads plus one for one and one for all, we all had each others backs it was so much fun but in the time i was there my friend theresa died and she was young no life at all but i really miss her and then my nan passed away i had to become mum to my family. but then i also met Justin he was on security and we became a item it was great i smiled again. Then one eventful night i met a new ember of our team called michael this was my life ending he was a alcoholic and beat me up and stabbed me over a period of time threatened my disabled family and conned them with the beatings i was taking i took overdoses and tried slicing my wrists and when he stabbed me i was lucky not to lose my life as well as my unborn child this is how this happened in came d and v the camp bug drs swore i had it and when i was home for my nans funeral i found out i didnt have d and v i was 6 months pregnant wow what a shock for the system i managed to get away from michael and had corey my first and for his safety i moved him to my mate christine’s and i carried on seeing him and with life as well as usual my family moved again and again but me and justin remet thanks to eddie alldiss as i tried to phone him time and time again then eddie put a message though ad i got to speak to my justin once more i went and stayed back at site for a while spending time with justin told him all about corey and then as time went on my mum got ill and justin moved in and that was great we then later on planned to have our second child joshua i found out i was 6 weeks with him and he was a joy. then social services said they would support me with my family instead they tried to take my child for 6 months i proved myself and kept josh we then moved and di the normal day to day then one sudden day i got in contact with chris again and we met and catched up that was different i must admit but then i was going through it with justin as he became ill with a spiral fracture 9 screws and titanium plate and depression anxiety sleep apnea and weight issues so life was hard and chris was there i think he thought we could rekindle a old flame but no there was nothing just good old friends. now justin and me are together and married and josh is 9 corey 14 and i have had so much go on but not time to tell now so i will leave that for another time .