I tried to trust

I am so done with all of this. I’m tired of not being able to trust, I’m tired of thinking I truly have trustworthy friends, I’m sick and tired of everything I’ve had to go through. I want to say this is life and that how life is but I can’t right now. Maybe after this rant I’ll be able to but for now I need to get this out of my system.

Reasons why I cant trust my dad:

  1. my parents divorced and the one who told me was my mom and he never bothered to bring the situation up at any moment.
  2. he has a new woman in his life and he hasn’t mentioned a word of her to me.

Reasons¬† why I cant trust the people at my school or the ones that call me “friend”:

  1. they lie.
  2. they hurt others intentionally.
  3. they go out of there way just to make sure they feel like the best and everyone else is shit.
  4. they’ll say you can trust them and that they wont judge but in reality they wont. all they care about is themselves in the end.
  5. they’ll will bring gossip in no matter what and they will make things public just to show there better than that person.

Reasons why I cant trust my family in general:

  1. they’ll say one thing and change it to another
  2. they will backstab me when they say “you can trust me” obviously I cannot because you betrayed that trust

I have tried to be genuine and I have tried to be nice but everything within this list so far shows me no reason to be the way I want to be. I feel like I’m starting to accept the darker side of me. I don’t want to be in that depressive state again. I’m trying to pull it together but I can only handle so much. I want to trust but how can I with all of this? I can’t even confide in my own brother. I think I’m starting to go insane…

Is this just me or am I really feeling the hurt again? idk anymore…I need someone to talk to but idk who…

One thought on “I tried to trust”

  1. Damn girl you sound like me im going through the same stuff. I would love to try and talk to you bc hell i need someone to talk to if you dont mind?

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