I am so done with all of this. I’m tired of not being able to trust, I’m tired of thinking I truly have trustworthy friends, I’m sick and tired of everything I’ve had to go through. I want to say this is life and that how life is but I can’t right now. Maybe after this rant I’ll be able to but for now I need to get this out of my system.
Reasons why I cant trust my dad:
- my parents divorced and the one who told me was my mom and he never bothered to bring the situation up at any moment.
- he has a new woman in his life and he hasn’t mentioned a word of her to me.
Reasons why I cant trust the people at my school or the ones that call me “friend”:
- they lie.
- they hurt others intentionally.
- they go out of there way just to make sure they feel like the best and everyone else is shit.
- they’ll say you can trust them and that they wont judge but in reality they wont. all they care about is themselves in the end.
- they’ll will bring gossip in no matter what and they will make things public just to show there better than that person.
Reasons why I cant trust my family in general:
- they’ll say one thing and change it to another
- they will backstab me when they say “you can trust me” obviously I cannot because you betrayed that trust
I have tried to be genuine and I have tried to be nice but everything within this list so far shows me no reason to be the way I want to be. I feel like I’m starting to accept the darker side of me. I don’t want to be in that depressive state again. I’m trying to pull it together but I can only handle so much. I want to trust but how can I with all of this? I can’t even confide in my own brother. I think I’m starting to go insane…
Is this just me or am I really feeling the hurt again? idk anymore…I need someone to talk to but idk who…