I’m still alive

Still being stalked by M@ people and any and all shotcallers (they say numbers at me, which may be threats, pretty sure they are) and anyone who believes lies or wants to join in.  Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun!

 

Uck.

 

Still get tortured to talk.  Still people run their mouths and say I’m just talking.  Guess the lies have overcome the truth because of people’s purposeful plans to destroy me.  Gah.  SSDD.  Same shit, different day.

 

Fuck.

 

Should be happy to be alive, but barely surviving and being tortured all the time takes its toll on me so completely that it’s impossible to recover and I know it will just happen again and again.  Exercise in futility my life is.  Now I”m talking like Yoda.  Great.  It’s early and I woke up at 11:30pm and was tortured and exploited to talk in my own home.  They call it electronic harassment.  That means all the unusual weapons, plus audio input and output and all the rest.  Really all of this is called organized or gang stalking, but the people who do it like to call it an investigation or investigative reporting.  Dumbasses.  Years ago, a woman said she didn’t want to be called a stalker, she wanted to be called an investigative reporter and they still have that shit going on.

 

My life is ruined.  It’s neverending.  Suffering and widespread lies and I barely survive.  Others thrive and prosper from crime or just their everyday lives and honest, hard work.  I die while people are listening.  They don’t even say they’re trying to murder me anymore when they are.  They just do it and that’s it.  I mean, try to.  Sometimes people are helpful and yell at me to get out of my house or wherever, but I usually can’t.  The weapons fuck me up, not that I am fucked up, but they’re powerful and unusual.  This happens all over the country and world to innocent people such as myself.

 

I won’t live through it and I”m dying.  People listen to me being tortured and dying and still spread the lies and/or join in to commit crimes against me.  Snowballed and it doesn’t stop.  The guilty enjoy their lives and still keep lying plus get rich or anything they want.  Some do it for free, but they’re all evil to me.  I never knew the world was such a big, bad place.  I know there are tons of good, decent people and we must outnumber the others, but they seem to have more resources and ways of convincing people to do things based on lies or greed or lust or whatever.

 

How the hell can lies destroy my life and the whole town full of them?  Some people think of themselves as famous when they are exploited and their rights and privacy are taken away on a widespread level.  I don’t understand that at all.  Even if they’re not being rewarded in some way, they think they’re famous and act accordingly.  Some have even laughed at me for being stalked and/or blamed me.  Some joined in and said I did something to deserve it and have even said to my face that they believe I”m a murderer.  That is the slander/libel about me and tons of other insane crap.  I’m a pacifist!  I don’t hurt people, much less murder them.  Oh yeah, and people are trying to frame me for God knows what crimes by lying to police officers and others in the government, spreading lies about me, and I don’t know what else.  People break into my house like every day.  I have scars from someone (or more than one person) breaking in while I’m sleeping and cutting me.  That has happened for years.  Some of the cuts didn’t leave scars but there have been at least 10 cuts on separate occasions, though sometimes they cut me more than once on the same night.  I could go on forever because it’s 8 years worth of stuff.  I even get discriminated against in medical care settings, sometimes restaurants, stores, charity places (like food pantries, meal providers etc, but not EVERY one and not ALL the time) and well, think of anything you do in your every day life and then add bias and discrimination for no reason except lies about you.  

One of my ex boyfriends (who didn’t want me to break up with him, he wanted to marry me) even told me outright while he was still my boyfriend that he was going to ruin my life.  He also told me that he was going to murder me in my sleep.  I asked about it a day or so later and he said he had changed his mind and that he was going to murder me while I was awake so I could feel it.  He wasn’t high, drunk or anything and we weren’t arguing and he wasn’t angry.  That’s just apparently the way he is.  He wasn’t kidding.  Another ex bf said he was the kind of Irish who kills Protestants.  He’s Irish American and I’m Irish-Italian American.  OK I’m really most Italian American and I just say Italian because I’m pretty sure it’s a little Irish, who cares?  Anyway, he’s Catholic and I’m Protestant.  OMG it goes on and on.  Those are only 2 of my ex boyfriends since my husband died.  Others didn’t threaten me or say anything weird or crazy that I can recall.  God, this is terrifyingly terrible.  There are no words.  I’m a good, honest, decent person.  I didn’t do anything to anyone.  They just lie and spread lies and try to ruin and destroy me and are succeeding unfortunately.

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