So, as an adult I learned that a neighbor girl (from childhood) had told a mutual friend that when we were children we did sexual things together. At first I laughed and said lol nope I that didn’t happen I am not into girls. Then I said wait …ewww.. I was in 4th grade when I moved from that house.. I didn’t do anything sexual then. I sat back and tried to rememeber the things we did do when I was there.. and the only things I remember was “playing house” and her parents were never there. We played in a little tiny camper in her back yard. Now I don’t remember anything sexual but I also don’t remember anything not sexual. I just know I went there. Now that I have been wondering about this I also realize that this is about the same time I started doing some odd things.. being withdrawn.. not wanting to be alone with people..etc etc. Do you think things did happen and I put it away in my little girl brain? Or do you just think I was getting older and being shy? These questions haunt me.. and I have not asked any questions, or told anyone in my family!!! What do I do? This was almost 40 years ago!
~*~Diary of a Thinking Soul~*~
I am 40 something year old women. Who has looked for love in every wrong place and or person you could even imagine. I am now finding myself, but realize I still have the deepest desire to be the most important person in someone's life before I die! I want to have someone fuss over me and pamper me a little! I have been independent and self sufficient my whole life. I am tired and want to matter to someone else....in a world where most women are crying over rights, I have had every right I could imagine and fight for a life that goes back to men being allowed to open my door and push my chair in! I enjoy it!