Starting To Believe…

Dear 20-year-old self,

When will you stop running behind people who don’t even care about you? When will you learn and understand that there are people out there who don’t want you, who don’t need you? Or rather… they only need you when they want something. I fail to understand how people can behave the way that they do. Everything just seems to be going so wrong all of a sudden…

I hate who I am right now. I hate myself. I hate who I’m becoming. I just hate everything right now. I hate everybody. 

Sometimes I feel like nobody’s ever going to get me. Ever. Having always been the “super sweet one,” I never thought I’d be taken advantage of this often. Certain people choose to spend time with me only when they don’t have anybody else around. Other people text me or call me if and only if they ever need anything. Why?! It makes me feel like I’m not worth spending time with. It makes me feel like I don’t even exist beyond somebody’s needs. 

I’m starting to believe…

That no good people exist anymore… and even if they do, they’re taken away in a flash.

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