Feeling Small

It’s incredible how little I know

The moment you begin to feel smart

Confident

because you are able to speak about the 

things you’ve thought about 

for days

weeks 

months

even at times years

once the discussion shifts

into unknown 

Territory

you are pushed 

into depth of 

water 

where the light no longer

attains

to exist. 

I hate feeling small

stupid

like I am so clueless

the other may be talking

fascinated

I look

wanting to learn

curious in understanding

knowing

or is it the attraction 

in the confidence

the other is portraying?

The comfortability in which they live in

in that very moment

Do I seem that way

when I’m talking?

 

Restlessness held above me

like the weight pressed upon my eyelids

that keep them staying up

open

The redness seeps in

like red wine staining a white carpet

the burning of the retinas

make you itch

the eyelashes

bat dryly

 

plastic bristles falling off

you use to scrub

your wet body 

soap no longer there

to create a soft blanket 

which kept you

safe from the rough.

 

You begin to remove the surface

what you’ve exposed

isn’t even the beginning

later revealing

what you are looking for most

the only way 

to keep going

you choose 

sleep. 

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