Confessions of a Risin’ Star (entry 2)

(Pic: My SC is ALWAYZ lit.)

I’m humble enough to believe, that I’m not the first creator, to be inspired by, “passion”…

Honestly, a good day for me, is bein’ left alone, to be nestled behind my iPhone X, MacBook Pro, or iPad (when it’s fixed) listenin’ to a playlist of nothin’ but songs, that take me into the feelz & emotions, that I suppose should circulate this love, romance, or idea of it, that’s either fleetin’, or yet to really ever, happen…

Am I ashamed to admit, that I still, affirm such tirelessly, everyday of my life?? That I’ve spent over 24 hours (at a time) amid various sexual escapades or encounters?  That I can no longer keep count, of the number of times a wife, or girlfriend of another, leaves the proverbial door open, for what I seemingly sojourn for?? This is such a custom now, that I have accumulated a slanted contempt, for truly intertwining with, anyone. (This distance and separate drives many more, toward me, daily; it sorta sickens me.) 

At times I believe, that the either the angels (or aliens), purposefully elongated the arrival of this so called affair, soul succumbing, or intertwining of, hearts. Just for the sake of me staying around, amid life, to see what’s now occurring. All of this crystallization, the self acclamation it churns, the envy it wields, amid the reality, that it’s never been (and likely never will be) consistent…

See, what they don’t tell you about all this success s***, is that you in order for you to truly gain with it, you have to lose with it, also. (Which is likely the case with, anything of real worth or want.) As you should be able to feel while reading this, is that I have lost, a lot. I have to momentarily tell myself, that this empty I’m filled with, is my price for what is considered luck, attraction, success, and wealth. 

So, the next time you see someone with a thing, or person you wish you had: think twice and look, closely. 

Me? I’ve chosen to take the black hole, of the universe, I supposedly master, and reciprocate  it for, light. So what if it’s draped in sensualities, elitisms, hedonism, and all sorts of infamies, that separate the acclaimed, from the achieve nots. It’s my truth. It’s my life. Whether or not you like it, or not… 

The fact that I can open up about it, makes me stronger than most of the people I see, esteem to be like, or imagine. For that reason alone, I’m good (sorta)…

Leave a Comment:

SCROLL TO TOP