I made the decision on New Years to move on. It happened when I noticed I was “bugging” him. He didn’t look for me after I stopped replying.
Idk why I expect it.
I guess you can’t expect much from someone who claims they loved you, but yet manage to lie to you so often.
I don’t know if to consider myself stupid, for wondering what he’s doing and if he thinks of me. Sometimes I can’t help it. I get sad.
But, I know I deserve better.
I started to distance myself and re-wire myself to learn how to live feeling alone. It hasn’t been easy.
Everyday gets easier. And I hope someday I can find someone who will say the love me, and like to spend time with me. And actually do it.
I remember from my psych classes how they mentioned that after break ups you seem to remember all the good things. It’s happening. I just have to keep reminding myself why I let go and why this is the best decision for me.
It is so difficult.