Today I woke up feeling pretty much the same as yesterday. I keep sweating like crazy, so I’m pretty sure I’m sweating off my fever. I felt better this afternoon before I started sweating like crazy again. This evening I went out with Monica, her brother, and his girlfriend to Party City, Barnes & Noble, and Target. Then Monica and I went to a taco truck so I could get some food. I really was not feeling so happy today, and felt I deserved the tacos. I actually really wanted some pupusas, but with my luck, they had run out at the truck we went to. So I was left with quesadillas (which I got chicken even though I ordered tromp??) and some fries. I feel like the bottle that is inside of my mind tipped over today and that no one really wanted to listen. I internalized all of my feelings and I think what set me off today was just the realization that I need to take care of myself. I finally went through all of the stuffed animals today that I shared with Dino so that I could give them to Monica’s nephew and it hurt the littlest bit. I think it was just a matter of getting rid of things that I’ve been so attached to for the last three years. I’m glad that they are going to a good and caring home though. No one really talked to me today. Well, that’s a lie. I talked to the EMT today for a little bit. He is apparently out of town for work, but finally made plans to hang out with me when he gets back this weekend. So I guess there’s that to look forward to. I also talked to Robert today. We played some games of league and shared some playful banter. Then earlier tonight when I was in bed, literally on the verge of tears and not sure why, I ended up venting to him. He empathized and told me to watch something, if only to distract my mind. He told me to watch Tokyo Ghoul, which I assume is one of his favorites, because he’s been raving about it for a while. I’m on episode three as I write this, so I guess you could say that I’m enjoying it. Despite the playful and mean bantering that we tend to have, Robert is actually really sweet. I know I’ve said it before, but I miss talking to him. I imagine that we will be able to be better friends now that I don’t have someone controlling who I talk to (granted we weren’t having the best conversations before). Our brains have an interesting amount in common with the way that we react to others and social interactions, however, I think that his brain has made him better with not revealing his feelings or with not having as many feelings, whereas my brain is very passionate and has a lot of feelings. I also feel like I’m not making a whole lot of sense to anyone other than me. I hate having so many feelings sometimes. But I also have moments where I am completely numb and have no feelings, so I guess my brain is just weird or just reacts in weird ways.
Here's a copy and pasted version of my tinder bio: Recent psychology graduate who works with 7th and 8th graders, loves long drives, can watch scary movies for house (but really any movies), wants to travel everywhere. Also love reading and gaming (PC, xBox, and tabletop). I also have a relationship with food, so I hope you're okay with that.