Before we get into this whole journaling thing there’s probably some things you should know. Well first things first, I’m Hailey. I’m 19 years old and I’m the lead toddler teacher (18-24 month olds) at the daycare I work at. I just recently started working there actually. This is my first time ever being a lead and I’m super excited and happy about it 🙂
I live in an apartment with my ex boyfriend and bestfriend, Jordan (I’ll explain in a minute) and our roommate Jon. Our lease is up on my birthday, March 31st, so we’ll all be parting ways. Jordan is getting a studio. Jon is getting a 2 bedroom loft for himself. I guess one of the rooms will be an office/gaming room? Atleast that’s what he told me. As for me, I’m in the process of finding roommates to move into a 3 bedroom. My reasoning is it’s cheap as hell and with my BPD and depression, I don’t do so well with being alone. I love company and I love making new friends so I think it will be a good thing.
Back to Jordan…
Jordan was my highschool sweetheart. We dated a few months my junior year and his senior year. We started dating again this summer. We went really fast and moved in together after a week of dating again. We lasted about 7 1/2 months. He broke up with me about a month ago. He gave me all sorts of reasons. But the biggest reasons were that he needed to know what it was like to be completely independent and he felt like we didn’t have enough in common.
Anyway, now we’re back to being bestfriends (with benefits.) We’re actually having a pretty damn good time. We don’t make sense to anyone else but eachother. We have so much chemistry that it’s hard for people to understand why we aren’t dating anymore. But truth be told, he needs to learn how to adult and keep a job and pay his own rent. And I need to learn to love myself and work on my body. Oh, I forgot to mention, I’m really overweight. A little under 300 lbs. Anyway, we got a lot of shit to work on. But I do believe someday when we’ve done a lot of growing up, we’ll get back together. I’m not counting on it, but there’s a really good chance. I just know we’re meant to be. But either way, whether or not we ever date again we’re still gonna be a huge part of eachother’s life. The question is only whether that part will be platonic or romantic. Time will only tell.
I really really truly love him. More than anything in the world.
He tells me he loves me too.
On to another subject, tomorrow is Valentines Day. I just went to the dollar store a while ago today and bought a bunch of cute little stuffed animals and heart shaped glasses and candies for their valentines bags im giving them. I hope it’s not tacky that it’s coming from a dollar store. But I’m pretty poor. So hopefully it’s the thought that counts?
Not sure what I’ll be doing for the day. I’ll either be hanging out with Jordan (possibly having sexy Valentines day sex) or watching America’s Next Top Model with my other bestfriend, Kat.
Anyway that’s all for now.