Everyday battle

There isn’t a day that I don’t wake Up feeling awful like why did I even wake up! I drag myself off bed to do the things that must be done. Feels like I have no soul, I’m just a body that is merely Surviving, not living! I can’t smile or even respond to anybody if they strike a conversation. The only person who I interact with is my son, my little piece of what happiness feels like.  I prepare him meal and dress him up for school. We have our quality time for a while. I drop him at school around 10. Then I’m all by myself again, not wanting to interact with anybody, constantly obesessing over the thoughts of what would I do if I lose the custody of my son. I’m exhausted! drained of energy and any little trace of positivity I ever had left in me.  I find myself fighting this feeling all day, while I’m eating, walking, showering or working. No matter what I do, the feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and emptiness never seem to go away.  By the time it’s evening, I have fought this feeling all day. Another day won! Another day of not giving up! 

But for how long?!! 

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