[203] ~*Thu – 02/22/18*~

[8:23 pm]

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but gaw, I always want to go to Jack’s. I’m becoming just like my mom. I’m doing good and staying away while hoping this will go away. I’m going to the Casino tomorrow and Sat for my friend. Let’s just hope I can finally get a good amount over there so I can play and get rid of my wanting to gamble. I just wish I had free money for Jack’s instead of the Casino. I like the Casino better, more machines and options but I don’t seem to be winning anymore over there. Hub actually said I could go play $20 tonight at Jack’s since I’m letting him eat McDonald’s tonight. Lol! I feel horrible, I’m always the one spending our money when he’s being so good. He was going downstairs to get something to eat and I told him he could go out. I wasn’t gonna tell him twice. He was also gonna do the suggies kitchen before leaving but I told him I’d do it. Blah! I complain when he doesn’t do anything and then I feel bad for making him do stuff. I really spoil him too much. But yea, I’m just so happy that he is like he is as far as money and spending’s goes.

I’m still debating on if I should give my friend some money or not to help her out. I guess I don’t really have to decide right now, I can always give her money later on. I might wait and see how the next month goes. Spring is also coming so I have to decide if I want to keep working on renovations as we’re doing pretty good. Two years ago we had the roof done and last year we changed the windows on one level and the kitchen doors. This year I’m not sure if I should keep going with the windows or if I should get a new deck done. I just talked about it real quick with hub before he left for work and he said the windows were still fine, we changed the most important ones already and the deck, well, there’s a part where he went trough it cause it’s just that bad. My only thing is that we’re never on the deck so to me it’s not that important. I think he’s right thought, we should prob get the deck done first. I just have no idea what I want. I sorta have an idea but I don’t know how to work it out and I don’t know if I’d try to explain to someone what I’m looking for if they could make it. I guess I should try to look online for ideas. I might just end up and have them re-do the exact same thing we already have. Dad-in-law had said he would come do it but I’m not counting on that at all. He did the steps on the side of the house a few years ago and he still haven’t totally finished them. All the poles aren’t even the same size. He had said he would come finish it in two weeks and that was like two-three years ago now. I’m just not sure how much a deck could cost, I’ll have to look around.

I just feel that I’m thinking about too many things lately and I need to find something that keeps my mind busy so I don’t think as much. I’ve send an email to the association to see what they think about my situation and all. I’m a bit scared of the answer they will give me. The guy for the doors also called and they will come in on Mon to check the rubber out. I haven’t asked the office for hours tomorrow so yea, I’m down so many hours this week that my next paycheck will make me cry. So many worries but for nothing really serious.

Now I’m debating on if I should do the laundry tonight or not. I don’t really feel like it but it’s laundry night. Actually, I already did one load on Tue so we should be fine. I’m starting a headache and I think I just need to relax. I feel that I might want to head to bed early so I don’t want to be stuck having to wait on laundry cause I don’t go to bed if the dryer is going. I used too but since I’ve heard of so many people’s dryers catching on fire, I don’t anymore.

Well, I’ll be finishing my episode of The Magicians and we shall see where the evening brings me afterward.





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