Lost

I just talked to a psychic about Ian.  According to him there will be no second chance at the relationship that I wanted with him…..that I’m not going to get a second chance.   I’m  absolutely crushed.   I want to be with him so bad but I feel as though he doesn’t want to be with me.   I was kind of hoping that a little time apart would fix things.   We got thrown together in an unfortunate situation.   He’s so sexy to me and handsome but I’ve lost him probably to the bitch.   I shouldn’t have stayed with him that 3 days when I should have just slept in the car.   I should have turned him away when he needed my help.   I’m sure someone would have helped him.  Even though nobody else would have helped me.  Shoulda, woulda, coulda…. What if…. We had never lived together I probably would have stood a chance of keeping him and having a long term relationship with him.  I’ll never hook up with another man again.   I’m just going to distance myself and stay away from men and not let anybody close again.  I’m just too ugly and repulsive and a bad personality.   I’m sure he’ll find someone that will not have a problem with his peeing in the damned bed and temper tantrums and stand by him like I was willing to.   Nobody’s ever willing to stand by me no matter what.   I must be the defective one.   Not Ian. 

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