In the boat…

Today I’m feeling completely like crap…  I know many other people are at this same moment, and if I could hear their stories and help them…
I don’t suffer from depression, not that I know of at least, so this isn’t something that happens often, just one day here and there when you don’t feel the strength in any part of your body and just want to say screw it all.
Like in movies I just want to go to sleep and pretend this is all a dream and I will wake up in a much better reality.  Not for only myself, but for other people as well.
My husband was paid yesterday but can’t really buy food today because I can’t pay the bills until tomorrow, then I know how much will be left.  I can’t afford normal sneakers for my daughter that should be using orthopedic ones…
And then today, in a normal conversation, my husband brings up the fact that I work my arsenal off giving EFL classes and make less than minimum wage.  It wasn’t bad enough that last year my dad had to turn and ask me: Why do you even work if you make so little?
Teaching in Brazil is ridiculous, unfortunately, you want to make a difference but financially it’s really not worth it.
Why don’t I change professions?  To be really honest, one of the reasons is because I like what I do, I enjoy teaching my native language, it is pretty much the only opportunity that I really get in speaking it. 

But every other job that shows up is to work when my kids aren’t in school, then what do I do?  My husband already watches them every opportunity he gets, no one else to turn to.

I miss when things were good.

Hopefully one day this will all change, for me, you, all of us.

Live long and Prosper

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