I hate being alone it’s like your stuck in your thoughts and can’t get out when there’s people around they distract you in a way but when it’s just you overthink about a lot of things. I feel like I can’t be myself where I live with my parents and my brother his fiance comes around a lot to stay with their baby but besides that my niece and nephew comes everyday. They get off the bus here which I don’t mind but now I do because my nephew is always so mean to me he argues about my parents helping me out or he complains about me. My nephew makes fun of how I talk he says it’s not correctly but it is even if it isn’t it gives him no right to make fun of someone for how they speak. He’s a teenager he should know better he’s thirteen years old my niece is seven years old but all she ever does is scream a lot or mocks every thing you say. Like I’ve said please don’t do that and she’ll say the same thing but in a mocking tone like she’s making fun of me trying to get her to stop something she’s doing bad. I can’t even stand being around them because I either get talked down to like crap or mocked and made fun of by the way I talk. I went to the store with my parents, nephew and niece my niece kept trying to pinch me or hit me in the face with a book making fun of me. My nephew was poking fun too but I didn’t say anything I kept quiet it’s old though because it always happens never ever changes and my parents don’t even say a word. I try saying something but my nephew and niece never listens to me trust me I can turn blue in the face. They still wouldn’t listen to me my parents don’t even step in at all and say anything their just let them walk all over me like it doesn’t bother them but it does me. I’ve had a talk with my mom about how it makes me feel she usually ends up ignoring it or getting mad at me and being mean to me about what I said. It just sucks I can’t go anywhere with them without my sister’s kids which I love don’t get me wrong but their a pain in the ase. You can’t have a good time or have fun you gotta listen to arguing, screaming, making fun of you, mocking what you say and my dad expects you to go into a store and be out within five minutes which is impossible. My brother isn’t the innocent one either he makes fun of me especially behind my back when he thinks I can’t hear a word he’s saying to my mom or to the other person. My brother has called me names before said I wasn’t going do anything in my life and told my mom that they should go out to eat together but to bring me he said it in a harsh way. I don’t mind my mom going to eat but the way he said it was like he didn’t even give a fuck about me. My other brother who’s my half brother only worries about drugs or doing nasty shit. My half sister she only worries about drugs, drug buddies and her husband not really about her kids they stay here almost all the time they get off the bus here. They eat here their come here on the weekends to stay it’s always here I wish she cared more about her kids than all that other bullshit. I have a boyfriend but he lives a hour or so away I barely see him like once a year last time it was last August when I saw him. I don’t feel like I have anyone I have no friends expect maybe four or five but they live in different states. I don’t know what to do I feel trapped in my own place I feel like my family treats me like a disappointment or like i’m trash. I don’t know what to do maybe I am just a disappointment or a failure at everything life.

2 thoughts on “Alone.”

  1. i think that this is just plain old bullying! which is really disappointing for your parents are a part of it. i think u should never let anyone talk you down or dis encourage u, we are humans this means that each and every one of us is different. i know what i am telling you to do isnt easy but i went through bullying for almost 3 years! it sucked! i had no one by my side and i felt alone too! my advice to u is just either ignore ur niece and nephew make sure they know ur value even if they brake something in the house dont even bother looking their way and if ur parents ask u tell them that they just never listen to u and that there is nothing u can do about it! work hard on ur self and follow ur dreams and dont give 2 fucks about what any person says to u! dont waste ur life trying to please people who are only looking for you mistakes and error to humiliate u. hope this is of any help. 🙂

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