Now all the sudden he needs his space.  My ass.  He’ll be just like everyone else…. I’ll disappear and nobody will miss me. 

I don’t know what to do to get him to spend time with me without that damned phone of his.  I’m more than willing to sit mine aside.  I’ve done all I can do to let him have his space.  He goes to run an errand and wants me to come along and then he wants space.  I keep grabbing my phone and stuff and disappear for several hours.  The only thing I can think to do is to disappear for several days.  But I’m afraid he’ll go spend the time with the bitch.  I think that despite I’ve been told that he loves me and he claims he wants to live with me and be around me…..maybe I should leave anyway.  I don’t know what to do.  I want to be with him but I feel like I’m still so alone.  I worry constantly that he will leave to be with the bitch.  I fear he wants to be with her rather than me.  I’ll bet she’s a lot prettier than me….even the ugliest dog on the planet is prettier than me.  I just can’t compete with anyone, never could.  I wish I was pretty.  Ian is so handsome but I just feel I’m not good enough or pretty enough to keep him.  I try so hard to make sure I treat him good.  But I fear I’m not doing good enough and probably never will.  I’ve never been good enough for any man and probably never will be.  I’m destined to be alone and broken hearted forever.  I’m going to leave and let Ian find his happiness with the bitch.  She’s rich and younger than him.  He’ll be happier with her than me anyway.  I’m ugly, fat, worthless, and poor….and disabled.

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