Hey! Did you guys miss me? Probably not. Fucking dickheads lol. Oh, well. I’ll update you anyway.
A lot has happened since my last entry but I don’t have 6 years. If you have questions, leave them below. If I have time I’ll do a “catch up” entry sometime this week!
Jordan and I have been in the process of moving. I’ve spent all day packing my shit into boxes. The livingroom is cluttered with them. Somehow I didn’t think all the boxes my mom and stepdad brought me were necessary, but it looks like I’ll be using just about every single one. The last few days me and Jordan have been moving in some of his furniture and other junk like his box spring, mattress, and some boxes of books and movies.
Speaking of me and Jordan we’re doing really fucking well. We’re just friends now and that is going really well. Like better than ever. For awhile, I thought that maybe I was just an annoying burden that he was gonna drop the second he moved out, but honestly we had a conversation about how my venting about every tiny little thing was really weighing down on him and draining him and how it was affecting our friendship, I’ve eased up and been more independent about things. He’s not wrong. I really was doing that and I shouldn’t have been. It’s not fair to take the weight off my shoulders and place it on his. It was wrong of me. At first, I took this confession as I couldn’t tell him ANYTHING negative otherwise he would just abandon me. But I had a pretty shitty thing happen to me last week. Probably one of the more traumatic things that has happened in awhile and I came home, makeup smeared and layed down and he came to me himself and he cared and he wanted to help and he held me tight and was there for me at a time I needed him most. And I was really touched at how much he truly cared for me. And he reexplained that he’s always gonna be there for me when I need him, but there are certain minor situations that I don’t realize that I’m strong enough to handle on my own.
Without the constant negativity we’ve had time to just let loose and have fun and talk and banter like old times. It feels good to not complain all the time. It feels good to vibe and laugh and roast eachother. Friendship wise we’ve done a good job at keeping it to just friendship. He is a little touchy still. We spank eachother playfully. Sometimes a little flirty. But my jealousy has come to a complete stand still. A lot has changed and it’s been for the better.
We did have sex, one day. But even before we started fucking I told him that it was a one time thing and that we could never do this again. And it’s easy to get wrapped back up into the lovebug spell when we get so physically intimate like that but I’ve been doing a good job even since. I’m actually genuinely happy just being his friend. I’m super lucky to have such an amazing bestfriend.
I will be moving in with my mom temporarily because I only recently found a roommate, a girl named Jada, and we still need to tour some apartments, choose one and get paperwork done and a lease signed. I should be out in hopefully under 2 weeks. I don’t like living with my parents because I don’t like living by anyone elses rules. The plus side though is some much needed time with my siblings. Particularly my sister who I miss like crazy. Hopefully should be moved in starting tomorrow.
My birthday is this weekend and I was originally gonna have a hotel party but I lost all my friends other than Jordan and Kat over the Anna situation so now Jordan is hosting it at his studio apartment. We’re gonna have cake and play drinking games. I’ll be with the 2 people who actually give a damn about me so it should be a good time! I was upset about the whole losing friends things but honestly, quality over quantity. I can’t let stupid ass people ruin my happiness.
Anyway im tired. Gotta go.