Wednesday, March 28, 2018
Well, thirteen days. Lots has happened the past couple of weeks.
Where should I begin… Probably with my cat, Ti-Gris. In my last entry, I mentioned how he was sick. Well, the Monday (19th), he had to be put down. He wasn’t getting any better, and he was old. Fifteen years is a long time. I was very quick to accept it, but I still took Tuesday off. I was pretty sad about it for a while. The rest of the week was kind of a blur, because of that. I don’t remember anything of it, really. This week, however, I mostly did some abstract art and drawing in general. I put up a shop online, which is cool (society6.com/Mercusius if you’re interested. Don’t get the pillow yet if you do; I want to make it all green, unless you don’t want it all green). But it wasn’t the greatest week, either. I was already generally down, because of my cat, but okay, nonetheless. Then, I had pent up anger from not being allowed to go to the U.S alone to meet some online friends, despite becoming eighteen by then. Right after basically yelling to my mom and having her yell back, I went to my room and regretted everything. I realized how stupid I was being and that we’ve never yelled at each other before, or at least, not in a long time. I thought I was legally free at eighteen, because my mom was saying I’m not in the U.S and it’s 21 (it’s 18 except drinking), but totally forgot that where I live it’s nineteen. I knew she’s just trying to protect me, but because I thought I was legally free from any blame on parents if something happened to me, I wanted to go alone. Of course we came to a compromise, but I still felt like an idiot. She and I made up, but I couldn’t talk or look at her without feeling like a failure. That’s when the day after I felt depressed. Other things were worrying me, which didn’t help. I kept thinking I was a failure and my mom probably thinks I’m still mad at her, when I’m not. She was even asked me today if I’m mad and gave me the typical “I’m just trying to protect you…” even though that’s completely fine now and not the issue. I’m just stuck at the moment. Today I’m better, though. There’s still some outside stuff that worries me, but it seems to be going in an okay direction. I also got a 94% on my poetry anthology, which is good. And, I sent an essay for a scholarship. Let’s hope I get it. Oh, I also started watching Soul Eater. Really like Dr. Stein. He’s the embodiment of so much that I like in characters. I like characters who are different/monster-like (his stitches and screw), intelligent characters (he likes research and he’s a professor), or insane characters (one of my favourite traits). He’s also able to remain cool and collected for the most part, he’s powerful in combat, and he’s silly sometimes. All the characters in that show are able to be silly at one point or another, though. The show is not my favourite, but it’s not bad. I mostly watch it for Dr. Stein, Death, Mifune with An, the silly parts, and the great animation style.
That’s all for today.