A friend that’s empathic like me told me Ian has been in contact with a pregnant woman. That would be the bitch. She should be about 3 to 3 and a half months along. I feel that he’s cut me off sexually because he’s been meeting with her on the sly at night while I sleep. I’m trying to screw up my courage to break up with him so he can be with her. His AFF page stated he wanted children but I can’t give him any. I’ve had a partial hysterectomy and even if I could get pregnant at my age, it would physically kill me, my health is too bad. I’m going to break up with him so he can go be with her and their child. And then I’m going to go back to Dallas. I’ll have to live on the streets because I can’t afford housing there. That way I can guarantee I’ll be alone and he will have to stay with her and their child. I love him so much and I can’t stand the idea of losing him but I have no choice. He probably would rather be with her anyway. All we do is fight. Besides I feel that he no longer loves me now that he’s sober, sex between us has ceased to exist and I believe that he no longer loves me. He hasn’t told me he loves me in days…..I can’t think of anything else to do but turn him loose. I’m going to leave Murray with him and pray that he takes good care of him. I’ll tell him to tell her that he adopted Murray for her and their child. I feel that he’d rather be with her anyway. I’m sure by now he hates me…I’m so repulsive and ugly. I’m sure she’s a lot prettier than me and I know she’s younger.
He won’t even look at me….