No matter

No matter what I do I can’t get him to even look at me much less touch me in a sexual way.  All I can imagine is that he’s lost interest in me sexually and at worse there’s someone else he’s having an online affair with and has promised to not have sexual contact with me and I’m unwittingly moving him to her.  Either way if I go with him to Phoenix he’ll be the primary one on the room and after I pay he’ll put me out and move her in with him leaving me penniless and homeless.  I want to believe he wants me and Murray to be with him and not on the street.  I’m scared.  The people that have read my journal and on the Facebook list are all telling me to dump him, that he’s using me.  I want to run but I want to stick around to see what happens.  What if I run and he had plans to stay with me and he’s being truthful about the stress getting to him.  What if I stay and he puts me out and leaves me homeless and penniless.  What if?  The facts urge me to run for the hills but my head, my heart and my gut tell me to stay and run.  I don’t know what to do.  Go to Dallas and live on the streets or go to Phoenix and take a chance that he’s being truthful and we have a long wonderful relationship.

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