I decided to not write yesterday, but that was probably something I should have done. It wasn’t too bad yesterday. I had a friend come over and do a couple’s cosplay with me. It was fun. They’re my moirail and we did DaveKat from Homestuck. On Monday we’re doing DirkJake, so that’s be fun.
But last night I had a depressive moment. I was being Dave Strider on a cosplay Skype call where I was the host and then I almost had a panic attack. I was scared, and I tried to hide it cause I hate when people worry about me, or think that there’s something wrong with me. Which I mean, there is. There’s only one person I let worry about me, and it’s not my moirail. It’s my ex-moirail. We’re still really good friends, and while I was panicking last night (they weren’t on the call) they texted me and we were texting as it went on. They know me better than anyone in the entire world. We met a while ago, on amino, and we quickly found each others Tik Tok (musical.ly at the time) and Instagrams. They’re actually the one that introduced me to these cosplay skype calls. We kept in touch and we still are. We vent to each other all the time, and I’m one of their only friends. Their moirail doesn’t talk to them enough and so I try to help them when they’re feeling sad. We have more of moirailegiance then either of our own. And that brings us to last night. I got a huge wave of depression, and they were there to help me. I told them how I felt and they listened, casually weighing in with helpful tips sometimes. I told them I was thinking about just not talking. People always tell me I talk too much, so yeah. They said they liked the fact I talked a lot, they like listening, and listening to me. That made me feel better.
I’m still not in the best shape, but I’m better. I’m getting better.
Thanks for reading about my depression,