I could kick myself for not keeping up daily..

Wednesday-Thursday

I could kick myself in the ass right now for not journaling every night. Damnit Mary!!!

Okay so let me get everything sorted out. Let me introduce my Dad’s family for you sake and mine.

Clinton (deceased grandpa) + Marlene (living grandma) =
1. Kelly Glenn (in one of the Carolinas) ((married 5 times))
2. Dennis Glenn ((married 4 times))
has three kids: Denny, Brain and Travis
3. Rhonda Glenn ((married twice))
has 2 kids: Ashley, Amanda
4. David Glenn ((married twice))
has 5 kids: Stephanie, Me, Brit, Jack, Dylan
5. Douglas Glen ((married twice)) he is also the one with the disgusting trailer
has 3 kids: Timmy, Sarah and Collin

Oh and my great grandma is alive and living with Marlene (grandma) who is living with Rhonda who is also taking care of Timmy (Doug’s kid)

Alright so that helps me a bit.

Anyway Wednesday starts off like so:
We get out of Tylers around 10 AM and we move to Midland, I think, to meet Dennis so him and my dad can go to different oil rigs to have meetings and then shortly after we meet Dennis’s son, Denny and his baby mama Brandi at Chilies for Lunch. They just aren’t very friendly. They make me feel like they are better than me or something. I am not sure what kind of vibe it is but it is not something that I am digging. They hardly talk to me and I hardly exchange with them, I just stick to talking about how we should all construct a plan and call CPS on Doug and how great Ashley’s enchilada dinner was last night. blah. blah. Nothing too important.

Next we drive 90 miles for Midland to Pecos.

THERE IS NOTHING IN PECOS.
NOTHING.

except for family of course 🙂
We get to Rhonda’s house and Marlene (grandma) is there to greet us. Rhonda is at work at the prison and great grandma is down the road at the hospital because she broke her hip and Timmy (Doug’s son) is there taking care of her.

Last time I saw Timmy was when I was mmmmm 18? it was 2008. He was bad. He talked back, bad mouthed, stole, did drugs, etc. When I was 18 we was about 13 but I suppose, statistically, you can’t blame him for turning out the way he had turned out at the time from looking at where he came from.
Well over the years, Rhonda took over as Timmy’s caregiver and sent him to military school. totally different person, well not completely there is still some old Timmy in there but he has it under control.
Timmy lives in Pecos with Rhonda, Grandma and Great Grandma where there is literally NOTHING to do.
Ashley got out by going to college to become a nurse and her younger sister Amanda (19) decided to get a trailer and move to Kermit (another middle of nowhere place in TX) and marry a guy named Kody. I think they are dumb. They are 19.
Anyhow, Timmy sits and sleeps at the hospital 24/7 with great grandma, feeding her, keeping her up, talking to her, taking care of her all the time. It was really sweet.
Me, Dennis and my Dad rode up to the hospital to see them and Great Grandma was out of it. I tried saying “HELLO GREAT GRANDMA!” and she would be like “IM TRYING TO SLEEP, LEAVE ME ALONE!” She was not feeling it and she was out of it. I am pretty sure she was sedated and plus the fact that she is 95 years old, time isn’t really on her side. We stay for a short while and retreat back to Rhonda’s house for dinner. Marlene made lemon chicken, asparagus, and asked my Dad to chop up some tomatoes with this QVC tomato chopper thing and of course my Dad chops off the tip of his finger and BACK TO THE HOSPITAL WE GO!

Fast forward..my dad is fine btw…I stayed up most of the night talking to Timmy, he came home to eat a sandwich and Timmy was the first person that I talked too that i didn’t wish I could block out. I left my phone in the other room the entire time we talked. His story is interesting. We talked about everything: his dad, his family, his feelings, military school, politics, the army, MMA, gay marriage, strange addictions. I think he gets lonely out there in Pecos. He said he wants to join the army he says it is his way out but it is also his way in to becoming a cop. That is what he wants to do.
He has really turned his life around and is a really interesting and well rounded person with different ideas. I always like a good challenge and he is my favorite cousin on my Dad’s side, even if he can be a shit.

Thursday

..consisted of driving, lots of driving. We drove from Pecos to Houston. We stopped again in Odessa to meet Dennis and his son Brian and his wife, Sonya and baby mama from the other day came..Brandi. Sonya was really cool mostly because she was super friendly and really interested in me going to South Korea. I like people who like adventure and are supportive to what I do. THERE IS NOTHING ANYONE CAN SAY OR DO TO STOP ME ONLY DIVINE INTERVENTION so back up. She wasn’t stepping on my toes, but to people who do…

8.5 hours of driving later..

It really wasn’t that bad since I had just drove cross country with Alyssa to Cali.
but the only and main HUGE difference is that I was with my father. MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER.

so much conversation.

so many feelings.

he talked on a lot of things i dont care about.
he talked a lot about 20 years ago.
he talked alot.
he has a lot of points.
omg.

and then MY VISA TO KOREA GOT ACCEPTED ON THE RIDE.
that was awesome
and then the conversation got more serious about him and my mom and me and how proud of me he was. It really put things in perspective for me to see what all that I have done for me and how far along I have come when, statistically, I shouldn’t have made it very far.
It has been a nice trip.
My mom called too and said she kicked Dani out (woohoo!!) Dani is a girl that lives in my basement that is pretty much like a sloth/leech who works like 1 day a week at a job that my mom got for her at the family restaurant. Her dad moved to Alabama and her dad asked my mom if Dani could move in since her fiance lives in Louisville and goes to UL since Dani needs to work out loan/finances/shit with UL. So the plan was for her to get a job and pay off school and do somethings around the house. annnndddd 6 months later..she is slothing in up in the basement and sucking everyone dry.
So my Mom is in the process of kicking her to the curb and my mom says that she learned her lesson. She said that she thought we (me and my siblings) were all lazy shits and didn’t get shit done but after dealing with Dani, she said she realized that her lesson was to see us in a different light. She said she appreciates me tonight and all that I have accomplished.
I feel all grown up and validated and good.
Everyone wants to be accepted by their parents
and I am.

fucking A, I’m getting emotional.

For the first time in my life when I was in the car with my dad and after listening to the same stories 10000 X I finally felt my mom’s pain and everything she had been through. Being ridiculed growing up with name calling, having her heart broken, her husband lying and cheating on her, having a second failed abusive marriage…. and it hurt me. It stung right in the heart. I felt my mother’s fear and then I felt my mom’s sadness of me leaving but I know she understands and she will get stronger.

It’s funny because my mom when she was 18 visited California for a couple months and then shortly after that she moved to South Korea and here I am, 25 years later, coming along taking a roadtrip cross country to California and then at the end of this month I am off to South Korea, talk about karma. I guess that is happening for my mom to feel what her mom felt. I will be f@##$3d when I have a kid and I have to feel the karma of what I put my mom through. My kids will be jailbirds for sure. great..

All in all after hanging out with my dad and his family, I am taking with me a new appreciation of my roots and also my mom and my family back in Louisville. Everyone’s family is fucked up, but I love mine.

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