Disappointment

Dear Diary,

Today I feel so disappointed not to mention upset caused by four  things. One; I let down a friend by accident, two; my friend is a jerk, third; I let down a nice friend with rejection, and mostly fourth I love to story write but my grade tells me that I’m rubbish, hopeless, what’s the point. So I decided to stop story writing, it was fun with 17 followers/favorites but it just tells me that the ideas I come up with are dumb, and stupidly put together. Let me show you an example of my story…

~Dream/Past~

My eyes were in a deep darkness as the only thing I could understand or know was a shattering pain placed all over my scar coated body. My breathing never to a halt as constant air fill my lungs with vast inhalements and the taste of my mouth was like morning breath. That was the least I had on my mind as I forced my limbs to move a measly millimeter. The hard stomp on my stomach made my weakened eyes to shot open as I shriek in agony. My mouth hung open for my loss of blood to dribble down my chin. The figure – as clear as a bell – gazed down at me in glee with a sinister smile. I never thought a living thing would have such an anxiety beyond the hatred of hell.

“Reverse it now!” he steamed at my face while holding me up by the throat

“What’s done…is done.” I coughed out, he gripped me tighter in his clutches as he smacked me down almost giving me a blackout. I could barely see him anymore my vision vivid and my body unrepairable. My limbs, along with my head, slung to aside; another batter on the broken ribs made me squeal.

“Do!.. As…! I…! Say…!” he commanded specifically, I didn’t reply “Fine, it’s not worth wasting my last few seconds with an idiot.” At that point he knelt to pick up something off the floor, it shone from the light (a little glimmer) “At least I’m going to enjoy this.” Was the last thing I heard before a split second of undesirable flow of blistering torture ran through my corpse’s innocent heart.

~End of Dream~

I know rubbish maybe I deserved a C grade for it; to think I actually thought I was good at it but not to my English teacher.

Back to my first problem , I can sense people’s attraction to another. I say that this is a gift but with this comes responsibilities that I didn’t carry out. My friend said she sent a special message to someone. I asked who. She said not telling at this point like a switch I understood she liked someone and told her you love message will be replied. I went onto her profile because everyone she knows is there and crossed of every guy that already had a girlfriend, until I found that only one guy was available for her. I discussed it in the forum with one person and that I shouldn’t have done.

To my second problem, The guy she liked was the guy I asked if he was single a few days before finding out she liked someone. So he replied no. After finding my friend was with him I called him a liar in caps in the forum, I calmed after a day I hated lies! I now consider him as an out circle friend rather than what he was before as close as a brother. He’s never going back to that status with me – ever.

To my third problem, my friend’s brother (after I said we were best friends with her) always told her brother how I talk to her and make her feel comfortable and that I’m such a good friend who sticks up for her. Whenever she’s in a bad mood I get her up on her feet. So she was telling her older brother this; not mentioning that I already had a boyfriend, quiet liked me from hearing this and wanted to know me (at which point I understood he wanted to be more than a friend). So we had a private chat, and trying to sneakily make him say that he liked me. So I asked him if he was single at one point so he’d ask me and we’d got into this topic – which worked. Finally I had to reveal that I already had a boyfriend I felt upset not just him. We’re still close and I call him brother which shows how close. Right now I’m trying hard to find him a girlfriend that has a similar personality to mine. Hopefully I will find that person for him.

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