confused

I don’t know what to do about C. I want to be with him so badly but I am afraid we will always be in the same ¬†never-ending loop. I know I love him but I have reached the point were I think its changing me. I shouldn’t be in a situation were I am waiting around for a guy who might not even be around to wait for. I want to put all of this behind me and actually be in a healthy relationship for once. However, I also want to be there for him because I know that nobody else understands him like I do. I am being torn between what I know is right and what I want. I want to be happy again, and I want this hollow feeling so go away. It is consuming me and pretty soon there won’t be much left of me so save. I don’t want to just see what happens. I want to know. I want to know that I can still count on you being there for me tomorrow. I want to actually feel wanted as a person and not just somebody to have sex with when your lonely. I want you to be able to commit to me and not feel trapped or want to run away. I want to have the relationship that we deserve to have.

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