Close Your Eyes, What Do You See?

It’s as simply as the blink of an eye, except for the fact that you’re forbidden to open them again. I decided that I was simply going to close my eyes while creating this passage today, only for the sake of getting out what really is on my mind. There’s nothing for me to look at except for a blank slate. Although, on this blank slate, there can simply be  tons of pictures, such as, memories.

Right now all I can see is nothing, but soon enough, the longer I keep my eyes shut, the more will come to the canvas. Tears, dreaded tears, pouring out uncontrollably. I couldn’t possibly imagine losing people over and over again. Not forever, but in the sense of, I didn’t want more people to leave. I couldn’t handle being treated so poorly. Truth was, I needed attention, as awful and selfish as that sounds. I needed someone to love me, to want me, to think I was gorgeous, to call my name, to accept every single flaw I had, but in their mind, it wouldn’t be a flaw. It’d basically be just another amazing feature about me. But honestly, I don’t think I’ve found someone like that.

There was one guy. He loved me for me, he didn’t judge me, and when he did, it was a simple joke that we could easily laugh off. He never pointed out my wrongs, my insecurities, everything about me was “perfect,” for him. Except, I thought that would never end. Unfortunately, it did. It never really worked with us, despite how crazy we were about each other. We’d constantly fight, however some may not even call it that. He would just get on my nerves. He had the habit of flirting with other girls, getting awful grades, and being rude to people he had no right to be rude to. I couldn’t handle that any longer. I have to be honest though, he really was one of my best friends. We told each other everything. I can tell when something is on his mind, when he’s up to no good, or when he’s keeping something from me, just by looking at the look in his eyes. That was probably the best part of us. We knew everything about each other, from our birthdays, to how many answers we each got wrong on a test.

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