Sometimes I just get caught up in my own feelings that it hurts. Physically. I can’t help but wonder if it’s my fault, or the the fault of the people I surround myself with. Either way, I’ve realized that it’s still my own fault. And it’s not as if I’m trying to make myself feel this way, like all of the people with degrees in something they never experienced say. Who would want to feel this way? Who would want to wake up in the mornings already crying? Who would want to shut out the world and not speak to anyone for three days without a real reason why?
I wouldn’t force that on anyone, and despite how much I dislike myself, I’d never force it on myself either.