The Beginning

So I guess I start by telling a little about myself.  I am 40 years old. Mother of two wonderful sons. I work as a server. I also make handcrafted jewelery. I’ve gone to school for child care and massage therapy. I am reasonably intelligent, but have way more common sense. Avid book reader. I own over 900! Enjoy movies and music.

I am currently trying to figure out what I enjoy. I had my sons very young and spent the majority of my adulthood caring for them. But now they are functioning adults so it is my time. I have found traveling to be exciting and love seeing new places. I am trying hang gliding on the 28th. *gulp* I am terrified of heights!!! But think I need to face it. I will still be afraid but I won’t let it control my life.

I have been in the lifestyle for just over a year. At first I thought I was a submissive. But as I’ve learned more I have realized I am a switch. While I love submitted to Sir, I don’t think it would be possible for me to give up control to another woman. Plus the thought of Dominating another person just gets me. Someday Sir and I hope to own a submissive couple.  But we still have some things to work out on that.

I went into this relationship knowing I would get attached, its just my personality. But I never expected to fall in love with Him. While this is wonderful, it has caused some problems for us. He wants poly and I just don’t share my man very well. I would have been fine with it if I was just His submissive. But I’m not. He says I am the love of His life and He wants forever with me. He wants me to move in with Him and be a family.

Ok here is my problem with a poly household. I have never had my own home. It has always been someone elses in some sense. My parents, my ex-husbands, room mates, etc. It has never been mine. Decorated the way I want. My kitchen to cook in, my bed to sleep in, my yard, my flowers and plants.

I can see making a home for Him and I. But as soon as you add other females, they are gonna want to start changing things. No thank you. I am way to OCD for that. I am having enough problems with His room mate now. Another problem by the way. He says that I will just have to train them to do it my way and end of the story. Riiiight. Sooo anyway…..we have started talking about owning a couple to play with but not live in. I might be able to do that. First we plan on finding others to play with and see how that goes.

Next major problem. His room mate. They have been friends for 20+ years and guess what…..she is in love with Him. Yep a female. She knows He does not feel the same about her and they will never be together. Since the beginning she has been rude and obnoxious. Would not even give me a chance to prove myself. He says its because she has been hurt by other subs He has had. Helloooooo…..not my fault. And no excuse for being rude. She hopes to run me out of His life. Yeah….not happening wench. Already she has done things to cause arguments between us. And He thinks it was accidental. Not. I have not asked Him to stop being friends with her and I will not do so. All I have asked is that He stay out of it and let it be. I am playing nice and that’s all I am willing to do. But He keeps trying to make us be friends. Hopefully He now realizes after our last talk, aka fight, to let it be. She lost the chance to befriend me and will not be given another.

Now most of the rest of His leather family has accepted me with open arms. And I love them for that. Some I have not gotten to know all that well yet.

Well gotta go for now. Time to get ready for work. See ya laters!

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