Let’s just go ahead and be honest… With you…with myself…..

I’m hating myself already for writing this because I am weak. I need a place to vent and leave my ridiculous thoughts….. Especially the ones about you, Scottie.

I always tell myself that you will always love me no matter what and I try to believe that but I am noticing….or at least I believe, that it is a lot easier for you to not talk to me than it is for me to talk to you. I want to, almost every single day. I just lurked fb and I see so much more in myself than I do in her, but I refuse to break a heart again so that is my fault. I deleted your phone number before I knew it and it’s a good thing that I did, otherwise I know that I would not be able to resist.

I wonder if you are all the things I remember you to be….all the things I imagine you to be….

The main reason for this is because I had a dream about you last night… It was so vivid…. I went back to sleep when I woke up because I didn’t want it to end…… Wanna know what it was?

Its getting kind of fuzzy because it was a whole day ago basically…but… I remember being in the back seat of a car with you driving In front of me. Your shirt was off and your seat was leaned back far and at that point all I could see and feel was the perfect sun bouncing off our skin and the perfect warmth of summer all around us as the town flew by outside and my hands caressed your skin…just how you used to like Me to do it…..other than that all I remember is looking into your eyes and the two of us smiling at the same time…..what a perfect smile you were blessed with……

2 thoughts on “comfort.”

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