Very many years ago, I wrote a poem for a recital at the end of a high school show. This was it’s title – and I don’t know why I felt to write this kind of poem for this particular occasion: I just flew through it as the words poured out onto the paper. The person I wrote it for, she who was performing the piece, was my best friend then, and she still remembers most of it. I, on the other hand have forgotten the words, but the impression which the words made on me have actually shaped most of my life! That ex-best friend later accused me of “plaguerism” indicating that something so profound could not possibly have come out of someone like me, so it must be stolen!
I never wanted to be notable or to stand out! My family, parents, mother – always pushed me to excel at things, and for a while it was easy….so I did: but later on I began to see the end of each road they were trying to push me to move along, and I dug my heels in! I wasn’t going anywhere until I could see that I would come out the other end with more than a piece of paper…hopefully somewhere on that ‘Path in the sky!!?’ That ‘pathway’ has been my obsession since I was a young child – but after I wrote that poem, my resolve firmed, and I knew that I would not let go until I had reached it, or was standing somewhere along its’ length!
In May of 2011 – I began writing songs, with tunes which I would play on my ukelele and sing aloud. The songs were about the pathway and the end of the pathway. If the path were up a mountain, then I was getting close to the top – if it were a ladder, I was at the top of the ladder! It is “flying without wings,” it is an “up Scotty,” moment – and it’s actually living with new insight and new faculties! I can’t explain anymore than that! It is a GLORIOUS freedom to realise that everything you thought was important, ways of approaching and doing things – they’re utter rubbish!
Reality is here, NOW! There’s No past – No future; there’s just Now, this moment…. and here I am sitting and trying to capture ‘this moment in words!!! It can’t be done, in fact. “Just be” ……. I remember reading Rod McKuen in my 20’s, not really understanding how his mind moved…. I do now.
Cheers Rod! Thank you for leaving the light on, for contrast!