So. I’ve felt so alone all day. I ended up drinking just to forget about everything. It was nice while it lasted, but now I’m back to the same shitty thought processes. Only now, I feel worse. I hate the feeling of being alone, yet I hate people. I don’t really know what to do with that. I guess I don’t hate people, it’s just hard for me to open up enough to like people. If that makes sense. I really don’t have very many friends. If I do, I only tolerate them to be honest. I wish I could go back to the way things used to be. The way I used to be; before I got all screwed up.
I'm almost 19, and I've been through more shit than I should have. My best friend, depicted in my profile photo on the right, passed away in June. My father who was fighting cancer passed away about two months after that. I have panic and anxiety disorders, and depression. I've had horrible experiences with men, however I'm in love with my current boyfriend. We've been together for almost two years. He's definitely been my rock through most of my shit. I'm so thankful for him. And no, I'm not a naive girl that feels as if we're meant to be together forever and blah blah blah. Shit happens. I know that, but we love each other now and that's all that matters. I've been told I'm mature for my age. I'm not normally social, people frustrate me because I never understand the drama. But if you're chill, I'm perfectly fine with you. Feel free to hit me up if you wanna talk.