I Was Wrong

My friend, Daniela, wanted to ask this guy, Ben, if he liked me. So she messaged him on Facebook through my profile and he told me if he can call her. I told him yeah sure and so I gave him her number and he called her today and told her that he didn’t think of me like that and that he was not looking for that kind of thing right now. I get for not looking for dating right now, but from the conversations that him and I have made it seem that he did like me. I know it might seem dumb, but I really like him. He gets me and I can tell him almost anything and he there for me. I know that I lied to him because I told him that Daniela was not going to tell me anything, but that was because I wanted to know how he felt. I feel bad lying to him. I had told Daniela that he did not like me and it’s true.  I feel like I can never find the person who likes me back. The first crush I had was in the first grade with a guy named Ryan, but that was not a big deal. Then, I moved and like a guy named Hector and he actually liked me, but never told me. I could feel that he did because he acted shy around me. The third guy took me, Roman, about three years to get over it. I had told him how I felt in a note and it ruined our friendship. I told my friend, Theo, about it and he made it obvious that I liked him because he kept pushing me towards him and kept telling Roman to say hi to me and he did. I t was never the same. And I actually stopped liking him, but I was in love with the old self from back then. But he had changed and it hurted me.  The fourth guy, Oscar, was just a crush and kind of still is, but I mainly just wanted to be friends with him. I know his family since I was little, but I had never really seen him since like three years ago. He is going through problems at least from what I hear from my aunt and his grandma, but I get to shy to say hi to him and he never talks to me. People go to my grandpa’s house to ask for change to turn bills into quarters and one time Oscar came to ask for change and all he asked me was if my grandpa was home and if I was doing homework. But that was about three years ago. The fifth guy I have no idea whether I am over him or not. He is much older than me I’m guessing like at least six years old and I am fifteen years old. I met him three years ago and it seemed that he liked me too. He was a stranger and still is. He saw me walking outside and said hi to me. I like walking outside a lot and so I saw him a lot. He liked to ride his bike around the neighborhood, so when he did he would wave to me. I remember one time he was racing his little sister about 8 years old and he let her win, but when he passed my grandpa’s house he turned to look at me. Another time was when I played the flute for school because I was in band, I practiced outside and him and his friend passed by and they said I was good and he also said to keep it up. And another time was when I was reading and walking back and forth he kept whistling to get my attention and he did. I turned around to look at him and he made head signals to go with him inside the parking garage because he lives in an apartment where the garage is open and there is no way to close it. But the point was that he asked me to go with him and I said no. I was s too afraid because he was older I was afraid that he would take advantage, but I know that he wouldn’t do anything bad to me. I now regret saying no to him and not doing anything when he said hi and waved to me. I seemed like I didn’t like him or I don’t know. I didn’t know his name and still don’t. I gave him the name The Guy In The Purple Shirt (TGITPS for short), because the first time I met him he was wearing a purple shirt. Now I have no idea what happened to him, because I NEVER see him, I only see his family, but not him. So I am confused if I am still in love with him or not. He made me felt good about myself and now has disappeared. Now on to the sixth person which is Ben, I met him only a few months ago in May. Before I knew who he was and how he looked like my mom kept teasing me and said that I liked this guy named Ben. Since we are Jehovah’s Witnesses we got to meetings every Thursday and Sunday, so I kept asking her who is he until one day she showed me. And from that day I thought he was older than me, but I actually thought he was cute. Until I found him on Facebook since then we have talked forever. We started talking every night at midnight and we have gotten to know each other, which makes me even like him more. Then we stopped talking everyday and night, but we still do at least once of twice a week. I can honestly tell him anything because I know that he is there for me and he will listen to me and help me through tough situations. And he knows that I am here for him and I will listen to him and help him through tough situations too. I honestly thought that I found the right person. But who am I to know, I am only fifteen. I am too young to know about love and falling in love,” so everyone says.

3 thoughts on “I Was Wrong”

  1. I’m fifteen too! And those people are right, we don’t need boyfriends. Yes, it would be nice, but it’s not the end of the world if we’re single.

  2. Be careful on meeting guys online. You never know if they are who they say they are for sure. I hope that you will wait until you are older to seek a boyfriend. Spiritually strong and mature people past teenage years will have better relationships. What you really need to look for in a young man is spiritual qualities, not just looks. It’s the inner person that will matter down the line.

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