Today I told two of my friends about my suicide attempt (I claimed it was a long time ago, but in actuality it was about 7 months ago). It came out by accident when I was arguing with one of them and said “Maybe I’ll just try to drown myself again!” He looked shacked and questioned me for a bit until I said that it was a long time ago. When I told the other friend, he pulled up his sleeve and showed me scars (which had healed). I was shocked about that. He always seemed happy, cheerful and worry-free. He then asked about mine and I showed him my hands. I had stopped purposely scratching my hands six months ago, but there are slightly dark marks on my hands. They are much more apparent to me though. We were both staring at each other probably wondering the same thing:Why? Neither of us pressed on the situation. I kind of feel relieved by telling people about this though. They are the first people I have told about it (like, really told about it, not being online and hiding behind a screen name or anonymous.) I am very glad that neither of them judge me severely different. The only thing that I am worried about is my friend with the scars on his arm.
*The more I stare at my hands, the more apparent the marks become.