The beginning

This is the start. I am the wife of an addict. it happened so gradually I’m not sure when it went from fun that could be controlled to something that controls him.

His longest and most constant addiction is weed.  His most powerful addiction is meth – when he does use it consumes him And he lies about this one the most.  His newest addiction is alcohol.  he drinks as often as he can.

i have to make it clear I too have taken drugs. It used to be something fun we did together sometimes.   But somewhere along the way things changed.  You’ve heard this story before.

Its been a difficult year. He lost someone close to him suddenly.  This seems to be the catalyst for getting completely out of control. He knows he’s out of control.  He wrote me a 5 page confession.  He said he didn’t know what to do.  I sought information from a drug and alcohol helpline and found all services through there are completely free – counselling, psych, medical treatment, rehab etc.  available 24/7.  All he needs to do is call.  But he won’t. Can’t.

And he keeps on using.  It kills me.  It’s going to kill ‘us’ and I don’t know how I can help him to seek help.

in the meantime whether I mean to or not I’m starting to distance from him emotionally.  I think I’m subconsciously  preparing myself for being without him – I think he should go to rehab.  I would be happier if he just went, I could learn to cope with that because he was getting help and could become the man I married again. But if he doesn’t get help maybe being without it means what it says.  We’ve been together 8 years

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