Winter Break has started! Well, technically is started about an hour ago (12:10) but, I didn’t get around to doing this until now. I finally get an actual break from things (Thanksgiving Break didn’t count because I was assigned work for the week.) and I can finally sleep normally! This is a yay moment for me. Any ways I am very disappointed in myself at the moment. Earlier today, I was purposely scratching my arms again. I broke my streak of 7 months without self-harming. I scratched the spot enough to make a bruise, but I didn’t scratch off the skin. What scares me the most right now is that when I did it, I felt relieved. I felt relieved from the anxiety, the impending failure, the pressure of being the very best. Now I just feel sad. Just very sad. I hope this break from the world will help me.