I have decided to go to a residential. I actually sorta begged my mom to let me go. In a way I threatened her. I told her I would not stop cutting if she wont send me away. I need to be sent away to be in a safe environment. My house is so unsafe. Around every corner an argument or cruelty is there. I lock myself in my room. I cry, cut, draw, go on tumblr, Facebook, twitter, instagram. I see other people that live there life while I’m almost afraid to live mine. I need help and I need it now. They say your younger years are the best, well a wise old man told me my older years will be better. I believe that. We have control over everything. I know I can stop cutting. I’ve done it before, but this time I don’t want to stop.
My mother is a therapist and she thinks she can help me. I tell her the truth; are you really being my mother or my therapist. She of course says mother but the truth is she isn’t. She also doesn’t allow me to go out. If your depressed shouldn’t you go out…? Not be stuck all day long in a box moping around. I continue to get worse everyday. I cant wait for the 10th. That’s evaluation day. I already know they will tell me in bipolar and depressed, I just want to get help once and for all.