First off, I’m exhausted. Mainly because I was on here almost all night trying to figure out my layout. I’m an OCD Virgo…not a great combination late at night when I’m trying to get something done. At some point (I’m guessing around 3:00) I finally put the computer down and put my sleep before my blog. Good choice. Second off, I go into work today at Pelican Bay to finish up another day of training, and they sent me home three hours early because I learned everything for today yesterday – WOOOO!!! Which means here I am, in my comfy clothes, typing away happily with a beer in my hand. Forgot to mention yesterday that I also applied to yet ANOTHER job, and got hired! So as of right now, this is what I have going on:
- server at Pelican Bay Country Club
- hostess at Bravo restaurant
- assistant for Michaela & Co.
- photography assistant for Winning Photography
- babysitting for Lord knows how many families
- retail specialist at Tracy Negoshian
- intern for Ashley (wedding planner) at the Hilton
Needless to say, the answer to your question is yes, I am insane, it just hasn’t been officially diagnosed yet. Oh and adding in there – if I am to follow my New Years resolution – I have to squeeze in the gym and church during the week! I’m surprised I even see Baker (boyfriend) as often as I do. Speaking of Baker, things are getting so much better with us. At first, like I’ve expressed to a couple people, I was iffy about just being in a relationship at all. Did I want to have a boyfriend? Did I need one? Did I even know how to be a girlfriend anymore? After my last one I wasn’t sure. And even though it ended a while ago and I’m over him completely, I still look back on it all and wonder what in the world I was thinking. Being in that place again really put a damper on my heart, my feelings, and what decisions I wanted to make, which wasn’t fair at all to Baker! Because despite everything going on, and despite all the nonsense that happened with my ex, and despite another unnamed person, and despite what anyone would think about it, I finally realized that I REALLY like spending time with him, and right now, we need each other. Yes, we could have been there for each other as friends too, but I think at some point both of us realized that we wanted more than that. It just took me a little longer to completely grasp that concept because of my stubbornness and inability to truly express my feelings without overanalyzing.
So what am I trying to say with all of this blabbering? All I’m trying to get out is that right now, in this moment, and hopefully for a really long while after this (if things keep going the way they are), I’m extremely happy with life! And trust me, I will do whatever it takes to keep it going this way, starting with writing something every day, whether it’s good, bad, funny, sad, short, long, whatever. I’ve come to realize how much I’m changing/have changed in the past year and I want to be able to look back at this and have a real perspective on what I’ve learned when the next year rolls around.