Life’s Lesson

Every day you are taught a lesson. Whether is a health lesson, a school lesson or a lesson about love. Love is something very complicated. Its amazing how one month you are on cloud 9, with the greatest girl you though you had ever met. She tells you how happy and loved you make her feel. She tells you she loves you, and couldn’t imagine waking up without you. She promises to never leaver you or hurt you, and makes your promise her the same. Every time you tell her how much you love her, or kiss her lips or hold her in your arms, you’re reminded of the guy she still loves back in NC. She tells you, I love you, but I love him too. She says, I never felt this strong about someone in such a short period of time. She makes you forget every care in the world, and wake up with a smile on your face every morning. You sit and think to yourself, how could i possibly one day, be without her. Knowing she has a bf, and knowing you love, you just can’t let her go even though you Mum tells you its the best for you. Your mum says, let her go baby, I don’t want you hurt. Then you come back from winter break, and its like a smack in the face. Over the break you felt the hostility, barely texting you. Stopped saying I love you. Then you see her Monday morning, she says, “we have to talk”. You put your food down, and swallow whats in your mouth. Your heart races like a race horse. You know exactly whats coming. You say, wait I already know whats gonna happen. You stand up and want to leave. But know if you do you will never know what she had to say. You stay there to listen. You ask, what are we just friends, are we over, wtf is going on. You on the verge of losing all sanity. She proceeds to say, I feel as though I should tell you what happened. You say, what, your boyfriend came up. She says, he’s been up. You breath heavily trying not to show the pain you feel inside.  She says, we met each other’s families. We had this big dinner and everything. You grasp the table, trying to restrain your emotions and anger, fighting back tears. She then says, he gave me a promise ring to wear once i turn 18. Remembering her birthday is in two weeks. Your heart sinks immediately. She says, I still love you, its not like I was IN love with you. We can still be friends, I’ll still text you on the regular. You can still come and eat lunch with me, every now and again. You just sit in aww, utterly flabbergasted. She says I didnt mean to hurt you., You say, its all my fault. I knew exactly what i was getting myself into. I’m happy it happened, she agrees. She asks, Are you gonna just erase me from your life. You say the best way i deal with stuff is to erase the person from my existence. She says no that’s not what I want you to do, because i’ll always remember you. She says, this may be cliche, but do you want a hug. You ignore her, the bell rings. you pack your stuff up, walk over to give her a hug then walk out the door. You scream and punch the locker. And proceed to class. You sit in class with every memory you have of her. thinking was it me, what did I do. over the next three weeks. You are an ass the first week, ignoring her, being very obnoxious around her. She then walks up to you the next, you admit you’re taking it hard, she feels the same. She says, I mean its hard for me to move on as well. I still love you and I am always tempted. She grabs your hand and holds it. You loose yourself, and give in. Remembering that this is what you miss. You get off the bus, and she follows after you up the steps. looks in your eyes, and says bye, as she brushes pass you and walks to class.  You miss her body against yours. Everyday you sit there reminiscing of the happy moments you two had. You avoid her a few days just to help yourself move on. You get the feeling she doesnt want you to move on, because when she sees you she gets happy and repeatedly kisses you on your cheek, asks for a two armed hug, smacks your butt, and walks away. Leaving you confused to her intentions. What just happened. Is this how she treats her “friends”? You give her $20 for her birthday, you feel happy, because you know she’s happy. You ask for permission to bid on her at the valentines Day auction, she says of course. I’d be happy if you one me. You continue a conversation she asks how much would you pay? You say how ever much I need to. Knowing you are still holding on to her, waiting for her to come crawling back to you. You still have pictures of her in your phone. Just can’t get he courage to delete them. What’s next? The lesson life is trying to teach me, just hasn’t hit me yet. Love makes you do crazy things. Then you think is it really love, or just lust.

2 thoughts on “Life’s Lesson”

  1. Hey, didn’t I leave a note for you on “It’s My Diary”?
    Hahahaha!! Obvoiusly, great minds think alike – so we both have a diary here and a diary there! Good One!!
    Hmm… ditto the note I left on you other diary…. and have a great day!
    Emmi

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