Alive

I felt hurt. I saw him immediately and he just stood there. He didn’t say anything to me. After all this time I can’t believe that he was here. I thought that he either got arrested (from all the rumors I have heard that he and his friends sell drugs or whatever) or that he got married and moved out. But no, I wonder if he was ignoring me or what? I have cried over him for four years and now he just shows up out of the blue outside while I was walking. I didn’t know what to do. I was a little mad, but I didn’t want him to leave me. When he did I felt all alone, but he came back out and I was relieved. I have missed him so much. I want to see him again. I hope I will. but when it was time to leave to my home I was sad. I wished we could have stayed a little longer. I wanted to at least see him a little more, I don’t have to talk to him. Just stare into his eyes and watch him. I feel like I actually do love him, but who knows right? I am only 15, 16 in a couple of months. And he is like in his mid-20s and I don’t even know his name. But the way he acted towards me made it seem like he liked me too. When we got on the freeway I started to cry and cry silently because I couldn’t let my mother hear me and have her asking what’s wrong. Then I went on Facebook and talked to ben about this. I really feel glad that I can talk to him about anything, except that I like him too. He understands me in ways that most people don’t.

XOXO lizquiet

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