my stressful day

Friends aren’t really who you think they are. Especially if their on drugs. People on drugs don’t know who they are
and don’t know what they’re doing and they can’t help that. They’re full of lies, regret, hate, and DRAMA. My life
would be perfect if everyone I didn’t know was a fucking addict. I’m a recovering addict so it’s really hard to deal
with this people. They’re my family and friends. How do I cope with that? Now that I’m slowly getting clean I’ve
come to realize who really gives a fuck about me. If I don’t got what they want, they don’t talk to me. If I got
something you want. They want to be my best fucking friend. And once it’s gone, they start talking shit, starting
drama, and trying to ruin your life. Then the other people involved know about it and they listen to what that person
says and does the same thing. Fucking bullshit right. I’m a good fucking person. I admit, I’ve fucked up in the past
and done some fucked up shit to people before but that’s when I was on drugs. I’m not using that as an excuse but
I really wasn’t in my right state of mind. If I was sober I would have NEVER even thought about doing the things
that I did. And now that I’m recovering I feel like it’s something I’m going to be sorry for forever. I’m a good friend. If
you want or need anything, I gotchu. You can talk to me and I hope that I can talk to you. I’m easy to get along with
and If I can help you out then I will. I mean I’m genuinely nice and respectful and I don’t turn around and talk shit
about you or start drama with you for no reason. And it seems like all these fucking addicts around me don’t fucking
see that. I’m the worst person in the world to them because I can’t give them one fucking pill. So throw shit on my
name. Make me look dumb. Hurt my feelings over and over and over. I don’t deserve this, and I know I don’t. Yeah
some people might think so because of my past but I realized what I did and I feel completely ashamed and sorry
for it but I have forgiven myself and started over. I’ve been a recovering addict since October.Everyday there’s
something that reminds me that I don’t need to go back to that life. Seeing the pill heads around me… I can’t
believe I used to act like that. Seeing how these people only care about themselves and pretend to care about
other people that only have what they want disgusts me. I’m the type of person that no matter how 2 faced I’ve
seen you be or how much lying I’ve seen you do, if you say something nice to me that makes me feel good about
myself I will believe you and I will trust you. And I will think we’re the best of friends. I fall for that shit and I hate it.
But I’m just being nice. Just trying to be friends because we get along. But to you it’s just a game. It’s just lying and
more drama to stir up in your boring life. How can someone be so mean?

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