In the new year Sonna, who had received a specific Word from the Lord,
about what she would do in the coming year, (she’d received it while we were
staying at the Caravan camp, we had spoken about it, prayed over it then
left it to the Lord to let us know when the time was right,)….had let us
know that the time was right, for her to fulfill that which had been spoken by
the spirit. She had to be driven to town to make application and enquiries at
the Polytech, and she had to see about housing and about finance. In the
end she and her sister Nada deciced to go flatting, together, that way, they
would both be living in town – and be able to support each other. I was
pleased because at least they would have each other to lean on should
things get tough for either of them.
Nadia did not want to go to Polytech. She was constantly aware that it would
cost alot of money which would need to be “paid back,” after the training was
ended.While David and Nads were worried about the finances, Sonya and I
were already assured that; If our God had said it, then He would make a way
for it to happen!! We knew that our Faith was no bigger nor more spectacular
than anyone elses, it was just that during those 10 years spent home –
schooling the children, we had had more occasion to exercise our Faith
muscle, than most people do, and so our Faith was strong through use!! So,
Sonna had learned to look for direction for her life, in the bible. The children
knew the bible quite well, because it was what I had taught from. (The bible is
just the “letter” of the law, there is also a need to know the Author of the bible
by His spirit: The letter kills, but the spirit gives Life!
(My children were and are, still on that journey!)
Around the middle of January, the mass of blackberry bushes along one side
of the house, had filled with ripened fruit, and the children spent every day picking
blackberries, where despite the wounds, scrapes and scratches, they’d beg
me to make blackberry pies, sponge cakes and puddings. For 2 solid weeks,
I’m certain that, that was all we ate!
It was a wonderful time, reminiscent of my own
childhood when my siblings and I would spend 2 weeks at the end of each
summer season, cycling out to the country roadside areas to go blackberry
picking, and mum would bottle this free bounty for pies and spongy puddings
to be had, during the winter months. (We lived like kings, as children!)
We couldn’t seem to get enough of the blackberries: then just as suddenly as
they had come, they were gone!! – Now the serious stuff was about to begin.
Sonna started at the Polytech. in town. She was doing a 2 year degree in the
Performing Arts. David and Dylan moved Sonna and Nadas into their new flat,
at the end of February. David still remembers ferrying mattresses on the roof
rack of the car. The very next day, we took the one and only son to Whangamata
Beach, in the Coromandel to spend the rest of the year with his best friends’
family. He would travel back to Papakura in Auckland, with them – and attend
Rosehill College for his last year of school! We nipped over to Raglan to visit
Davids’ sister M – then slowly made our way back to Waiotira in the north.
It wasn’t until the next day, when I climbed out of bed that I noticed a silence, so
loud, it was defeaning! Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a giant-chasm of
loneliness opened before me, and tears just streammed down my face as I
walked from room to room, looking at the empty spaces. I must have done that
for an hour, and I soon found myself back on my bed, cuddling my pillow sobbing
my heart out again.
David found me and asked what the matter was, but I couldn’t tell him. This was
something which I would have to endure alone. I felt as though my heart had been
ripped out and left bloodied and bleeding on the floor.
Oh I knew what it was!!
It was the empty nest syndrome, times three!! I was talking to myself. “Look, they’re
NOT dead. You can call them whenever you want, just go over to the telephone and
call them. This is what you worked so hard to raise them for, so that they would be,
‘confident, independant adults’ but it still hurt and I could not understand why? This
was an unreasonable pain!! One child had gone on holiday, one had gone to school –
and the other had got work in a womens wear outlet, it was just what she had wanted, –
so what was I howling about?
My children had gone away before, admittedly, not all at the same time, but this could
certainly be seen as being like that, couldn’t it?
Meanwhile, now that there was just David and me, we settled down to make plans.
Out came our bibles, ‘Ok, Lord, – What’s the plan?’
TBC – Emmi