My father

There are so many things i want to say and so many question I want to ask him…

I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye and forgive him for what he has done to me and especially to my mother and grand mother. I can’t bring my self to even say hi cause until this day I’m still terrified that he would hurt me like he hurt my mom.

Ever since my mom left my dad, I was brought up by mom and my grandmother. I was not allowed to see my father till I was 8 and since then we became close but when I turned 16 thats when our relationship started becoming a little rocky. I was the time i started to become a real socialite. I had lots of friends and a few suitors here and there. My father wasn’t entirely happy with it. He would hear things from his friends about me. Which i found really weird. He started letting rumours about me and my friend get in the way of our relationship and we would constantly fight.  

It happened last year, the night of June 20. My father and I got into a huge fight about money and how I use him for his money. Which was a complete and utter lie, i didn’t understand why he would say those things? I mean I never asked for money. The only money i get from his is used for my education. He had no right to say those things to me so I fought back. I told him it was his right and responsibility to pray for it since he was my dad after all. Then it really hit him. He told me I was being disrespectful, i told him “How can you ask me to respect you? when you can’t even treat me right. I will not tolerate you bullshit.” i stood trying to get out of his room then he got so mad he grabbed me and said “YOU WILL NOT LEAVE TILL IM DONE TALKING TO YOU” with his big roaring voice. I was scared shitless, i started to cry and told me to let me leave yet he started pushing me into the room and didn’t let me leave. I started getting a panic attack and he still continued mean things saying things.. until I blacked out….. My dad left me a note saying ” just talk to me when you’re ready”

I got the hell out of my dads and never wanted to see him again.

It was very traumatic.

 

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