I don’t know if I should do this… risk it all for something so very temporary.
I don’t know what I am getting myself into… all the information in the world won’t prepare me for that first day.
What people will think? I have no idea… do I care? Not at all.
It’s not that big of a deal…I mean… I do WANT this and I do need this but how far will I go? Will this ruin me?
What I will get in return is all up to me and that’s scary.
Making decisions when your naive , damaged and confused never ends on a good note.
Maybe all I need is a few weeks to get my head together.
I need prioritize think about what is REALLY important.
I have never thought much about my future …I’m so used to things just happening for me.
I will be 18 in a few days I need to grow up.
Will this make me or break me? should I risk it?
Why do I want this though? Maybe there is a deeper reasoning?
Is it control ? attention? do I want to piss off my parents? I’ve always wanted to get back at them. This would be the perfect slap in the face.
I guess I will dive into this head first see where it takes me…I’m not scared I’m exited…just a little unsure.