Unsure

I don’t know if I should do this… risk it all for something so very temporary.

 

I don’t know what I am getting myself into… all the information in the world won’t prepare me for that first day.

 

What people will think? I have no idea… do I care?  Not at all.

 

It’s not that big of a deal…I mean… I do WANT this and I do need this  but  how far will I go? Will this ruin me?

 

What I will get in return is all up to me and that’s scary.

 

Making  decisions when your naive , damaged  and confused never ends on a good note.

 

Maybe all I need is a few weeks to get my head together.

 

I need prioritize think about what is REALLY  important.

 

I have never thought much about my future …I’m so used to things just happening for me.

 

I will be 18 in a few days I need to grow up.

 

Will this make me or break me? should I risk it?

 

Why do I want this though? Maybe there is a deeper reasoning?

 

Is it control ? attention? do I want to piss off my parents? I’ve always wanted to get back at them. This would be the perfect slap in the face.

 

I guess I will dive into this head first see where it takes me…I’m not scared I’m exited…just a little unsure.

 

 

 

One thought on “Unsure”

  1. Hard decisions to make, but is time to grow up and be independent. I know how it feels like, everyone expects you to be perfect and that scares me even more than the whole “growing up” thing.

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