Wanting Someone To Want Me ..

It’s getting harder go without sex and without the love of someone that is beside of me.  Shane is in jail and has been for a little over two months now.  This June will make two years that he and I have been together and I love him so..  The hurt keeps getting stronger and more hard to ignore.  Knowing that he has at least three felony charges facing him, well … What would you think..?  He’s going to be sentenced with a while in jail.  His next court date is not until May 1st, but his lawyer has informed him that he is going to try to have the court date held off as long as he possibly can.  I’m thinking so that the effects of the situation will die down somewhat.  It just hurts more and more with each passing day that he’s in there.  He’s the love of my life!  What the hell am I supposed to do???  I can’t hold him anymore.  I can’t make love to him and lay on him while my arm is thrown over his chest.  I miss laying my head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat before I go to sleep.  It’s hard to sleep without him..  People are telling me to leave him, but I just can’t.  I love him too much and I don’t think another love like this would come around, nor do I want it to.  I love Shane and that’s the only person I want to love.. I just do not know what to do …

Planning on planting some corn this May .. It will give me something  worthwhile and productive to do; Sort of looking forward to it 😀  I also plan on digging roots for a little bit of extra money.  Here’s to making the summer a good one before college starts this Fall, and to actually attending the damn college this year!

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