Lost

I am extremely lost. I have driven myself away from my family. I have built a wall around me hiding from everyone. I don’t know what to do anymore. it has been four long and complicated years since I started to close myself in. Four years since I fell in love with TGTITPS, or so I think I did. Because I still can’t seem to forget him, it’s getting hard everyday. It’s eating me in the inside. I fell for him for what only lasted not long enough and then he disappeared for about two to three years and now he is back. I see him when I go to my grandparents house and I live one hour away so it’s not like I get to see him very long. It all began when I started walking outside. I know it sounds weird, but I love walking and then I sing out loud (crazy right?) anyways I walk only a certain distance, because my family gets worried. Anyways he doesn’t live that far from where my grandparents live so I started noticing that he kept coming out when I came out. One day he stopped me and asked, “Hi, how are you?” He was sitting down leaning on a tree close to where he lives. He lives in an apartment and my grandparents are renting a house. I told him I was fine and then he left. For some odd reason I felt sad that he left, but I turned and kept walking the next thing I noticed was that he was riding his bike right behind me and rode his bike a little further than my walking distance, but he came back. Then he winked at me and I just stood there doing nothing. A few days after I saw him again on his bike and he waved to me, not making it obvious because his friend was behind him. Every time I saw him he would wave to me and I wouldn’t do anything, but I liked him. Another time he then saw me walking and I was listening to my music and he was on the phone he then asked me, “Don’t you get dizzy?” I was in shock and shuddered but I answered and told him no. After that I kept walking. I can recall one time I walked to the library and I came back and started walking and reading the book “Annie’s Baby” then he came out and I tried not to pay attention to him. But he made it hard, because he kept whistling to get my attention and once he finally got it he shook his head as if saying that I should go in the garage where it is open but there are cars inside. I shook my head no. It was not that I was afraid he was going to do something to me because if it was that case then he had a lot of time to do it by now. I was just afraid that my aunts would find out and not let me go outside anymore. But what that guy had did, he did it three times and after that nothing else ever happened. I tried to talk to him, but I couldn’t get myself to have enough guts to talk to him Then he disappeared and now he is back.  Am I crazy?

XOXO Lizquiet

Leave a Comment:

SCROLL TO TOP