The Inquiry

Most of my thoughts come throughout the day. For example, how I thought about what I wanted for lunch, what I should take home to study with for the quiz tomorrow, and what we were doing in gym class. I am not a complex physical human. I think about the regular stuff. But, at night, is when I really start to t h i n k.  The setting of the sun makes me think about time. The time I spend with myself is crucial. I cannot be alone with my own thoughts. Nights like these make me wonder what I really have to offer to the world and those who take up the space. Am I really worthy of the time i’m consuming from mother nature? I don’t know. Do my offerings not fulfill the world around me? Do I dare to rebel against what my peers have viewed me as for years? Nights like these get to me. I question my existence as an angry wife questions the red lipstick on her husbands shirt. Times like these make me wonder, make me second guess what can happen to my life if I just changed. Would the questions and self doubt go away, or would they just create more inquiry to my new way of being? 

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