hurt

i had been crying this whole entire week, and i didn’t even know why. I’ve just been getting sadder and sadder, but then again it didn’t help that one of my best friends was being a bitch to me for almost two weeks now. of course yesterday i got so fed up with all her bullshit that i called her a bitch. she instantly got mad at me, but she deserved it. earlier this week she had called me an accident waiting to happen then laughed at me. it hurt me. so i felt like i had the right to call her out on how she was acting. as soon as i got home this morning i took a nap then watched awkward. i had getting so addicted to awkward, it was my new obsession. Re-watching all of those episodes taught me a lot of things that i had missed the first time watching it. Like this line “i can’t hate someone i don’t care about” it made me realize that why should i waste my time hating someone when i shouldn’t even care about them. my all time favorite line was “when i hurt you i didn’t understand what i was doing. i didn’t love myself enough to let you love me.” it reminds me of my past. how i didn’t realize i was hurting this boy who tried to love me but i didn’t love myself enough to let him love me. so i just ended up hurting him kinda like jenna did in awkward. were together now but i still don’t love myself enough, i try to let him love me but its hard, its really hard.

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