acceptance

i just don’t know anymore. Maybe I’m going crazy, maybe I’ve already lost my mind. Maybe its time for me to die, no one needs me anymore. They only cared when i tried to kill myself. They only care when its too late. When their gone. I’m not gonna kill myself of course because i don’t want to go to hell but some days i just can’t take it anymore i want to die. No one knows that I’m still broken inside. I don’t understand how people can call me names and make fun of me and laugh at me when I’m still hurt. It hurts me so much when people do that. And now my boyfriend is going on about his “insecurities” when theres nothing wrong with him and it just bugs the crap out of me because here i am with everything wrong possible with her while he’s complaining about shit he doesn’t even have. i have cuts on my arm and i can’t shake the feeling that people are always staring at them whenever i wear short sleeves. its just something I’m going to have to live with. the only time i felt okay with showing my scars was with some people i don’t talk a lot to: dree and grant. grants cuts every once in a while and dree is a lesbian so we just all accepted each other for who we were. it was the first time where i felt like i actually belonged and i wasn’t just some outcast trying to fit in, because we were all alike in different ways. and we all okay with that. Because no matter big or small everyone has something wrong with them some more than others like us for example we all knew we had a lot of flaws but my boyfriend he thought h did but in reality he didn’t, and I’m not only saying this because he’s my boyfriend I’m saying this because its the truth and other people have told him this too but for some reason he’s still in denial.

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