You never forget your first true love

Ever loved someone so much that time stopped? Like literally it stopped. One solid minute, sixty seconds, felt like your whole entire life. You didnt care about anything, expect them. Someone who not only made you feel special but like you were the only other person on this planet, in this universe. I have. I met this boy when I was 18, lets call him Jason. Now I met Jason when I had a boyfriend, and he had a girlfriend. Neither one of us knew each other but I remember the first time I saw him. Time stopped! And for those few seconds, it was only myself and I at that football stadium. And then reality came back. Since both myself and Jason were in a relationship everything was on a strict friendship. Ya I thought he was cute and deffinatly had a crush on him. But in all honesty the first 6 months I knew him I knew nothing about him, nothing serious anyways. His gf lived far away and he went to the same school as my bf and used to play football with him untill they both quit. Thats it, nothing else. And then slowly but surly we became friends. I only ever hugged him, nothing else. I never sat by him, never held his hand, we just talked like we knew each other. And for a whole year thats what we did. Sometimes to peoples knowledge, and sometimes secretive. When we would have parties neither one of us could sleep so we would end up in the kitchen, talking till the sun came up. I cant even tell you what we talked about, but I know it was something great. He made me feel human. I would talk and he would listen, I enjoyed it. And then high school was over, and our lives went to two different coast. He went to the west coast, Cali. Oh I was so jelouse, I always wanted to go live in Cali. Myself, I ended up in Florida. It was nice, very sunny. Me and Jason still remained friends and would talk all the time thanks to the invention of Skype. And one day, January 27th he told me he liked me. I dont think I stopped smiling for a week. This guy who I had thought about for a year and a half actually liked me. But he was 2000 miles away. We had our bad moments. And we had our amazing moments. I spent the summer after my freshman year of college with him, I loved that summer. We didnt need anyone, just each other. We were that kind of love, all we needed was love to live. You never realize how amazing a moment is until its gone. I never thought we were one of those cliche couples but we so were. It was the most incredible moment of my life. He courted me. Took me out to nice places. I made him dinner one night when I had the house to myself, I even made desert from scratch. Every problem that we had was solved with sex and a long bath. We had our whole lives planned out. Jason was my first true love, I guess my only true love. I highly doubt you get more then one. I would have done anything for him. And I know at times I never showed it, in fact most times I showed the opposit. I guess true love is never easy. Like in movies theres always that crazy middle part before the happy ending. I’m not sure if that happy ending will ever happen for us but I do know we are in the middle part right now. The part where we have to be really far away, and never even know if the other is alive. Life is weird sometimes. Everyone wants their life to be like a movie. But what if it is, you just dont recognize it because your not looking at it, your in it. Ya i know may not be the best wording but hey its almost 6am and I’m new to this. All I know is no matter how hard I try, or what I do, I cant get that boy out of my head. And still at 23, 3 years since I was with him and I cant shake him. It worries me sometimes. Maybe thats why I cant sleep.

2 thoughts on “You never forget your first true love”

  1. This is beautiful. Don’t give up! If its true love it will happen sooner or later.

  2. I love this. I hope it works out for the both of you! I can only smile and hope I get to find the one that makes my world stop for a moment in time!

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