Dear Diary, I feel like things are coming to an end and whether I like it or not I have to move on. As much pain as I am in there is a part of me that wants things to remain the same. I have gotten so used to feeling this way I almost enjoy suffering. I am scared to let myself be happy and have the rug pulled right from under me. I am no longer strong enough to fight so PLEASE god give me hope,give me happiness…. I need it I need you.